Today’s Word is Objective.

Today’s Word is “Objective”.

Well Boys and Girls, this is another complicated word. Like the word Education, this word has two meanings. This word though, is always spelled the same and sounds the same and no matter which side of your mouth you speak it from.

Here’s how it works!

Let’s say you have a friend who wants you to convince a bunch of his friends that all he has in his pocket is $33.00. So, you think about it. You roll up your sleeves and program a very nice Power Point presentation. You put on a very nice tie. You create great numbers of spreadsheets that look very fancy. Then you show it to your friend who is very impressed and says, “Yes! There you have it!” He is in fact, so impressed that he promises to pay you lots of money for your work, which you think is a little odd since the objective of your work is prove that he only has $33.00 in his pocket. 

Next day, you put on a really nice tie and pack all of your work into a 45 minute talk that you give to all of your friend’s friends, coworkers, children, neighbors, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, cousins, godchildren, ice cream men, butchers, bakers, grocery store clerks and people he once sat next to on the bus. Of course, your presentation goes swimmingly well and you have so much to say that you have no time to take any questions. You have achieved your objective, which was to prove to the entire universe that your friend only has $33.00 in his pocket. Except that your friend bought lunch for everyone. So maybe your friend just isn’t that good at math or just maybe your friend is prevaricating again! That’s it! Words are so much fun aren’t they?

As you are sipping great volumes of wine in your swimming pool that night, you smile and say, “I achieved my objective and made a lot of money!”

And this brings about our other definition of the word Objective.

Even though you achieved your Objective, you were not very Objective in your work. This is because your work was not based on facts, but merely on your friend’s opinion that all he had in pocket was $33.00. Of course none of it matters now since your friend paid you so handsomely for your work! And gosh, he seemed so very happy about everyone knowing how inept he is at raising money! Such a prevaricator your friend is! At least working for him has been viable!

And so. There you have it Boys and Girls, a solid week of stories from Uncle Bill. Uncle Bill hopes you share them with all of your friends and coworkers because everyone needs an Uncle once in a while, don’t you think?

It being Halloween pretty soon and all, tomorrow’s word is very scary; Tomorrow’s word is “Threaten.” Oooooohhhh!!!! Sleep well Boys and Girls! Don’t let the hairy big monsters under your beds eat you tonight!